The Problem with Being a People Pleaser

Are you a People Pleaser?

People PleaserI admit it—I am … but I’m going to stop.

If that sounds somewhat selfish to you, I want you to know that at first it did to me, too.

For most of my life, I have been filled with anxiety, wondering what other people thought about me: my actions, my attitude, my appearance, my words, my style (or lack of style!) … well, you name it.

I erroneously thought that pleasing others was God’s will. But that is not what Scripture says! The words of Jesus are to “love one another,” not to “please one another.”  (John 13:34-35)  And there is a powerful difference.

I came across this Scripture verse today:

Fearing people is a dangerous trap,
but trusting the LORD means safety.

Proverbs 29:25 (NLT)

The fear of man is a trap.  It keeps us from God’s will for our life. It’s a snare, one that sounds good, but in fact is self-serving and downright dangerous. We should live to please God, not please others.

Think about it: Is that anything that God has called you to do that you hesitated to do, all because of a concern about what others might think of you?  Speak to a stranger about Christ? (They’ll think I am crazy.)  Stop by a friend’s house unexpectedly to encourage them? (They’ll consider me rude.) Give up a volunteering service because God was calling you to do something else? (How can I leave them hanging? I’ll let them down.)

Call me guilty! I’ve done all of those things.

So today, I am choosing to go where God calls me to go, regardless of what others might think about my choices.

I encourage you to do the same, because I’m telling you, there is great release in letting go of a desire to please others and instead choosing to please only God.

It ushers in an incredible freedom and allows a space in our lives for miracle to occur.

Won’t you join me?

Can Faith Really Strengthen Parents for the Autism Journey?

Yes, Yes, Yes.

Faith and autism was the topic of Sunday’ Spreecast (a webcast) with fellow author Patty Myers. (If you missed it, you can view the recording here: Strength For The Autism Journey SpreecastNot Alone Parents set up the Spreecast, and if you do not yet know about this website, make sure you visit this wonderful community of support for special needs families. I’m so blessed to be one parent of many in this encouraging place.)

Now what about faith and autism? Well, there’s so much that I’d like to share with you, especially if you are a loved one of a special needs child.

I’d like to tell you that being a special needs parent is easy, but if you are the mother or father of a such a child, you know that it’s not. More than anything, I’d wish I could give you a hug and tell you that God is very able to help you and your sweet child.

Not only is He able, but He desires to surround you with His strength, patience and love.  He’s proven that love by giving us an inheritance of promises that we can count on to make it through the hard days.

Better still, God sent the very best advocate we could ever have for our child! This advocate is one that we don’t have to seek out. We won’t need to place a second (or third) mortgage on our house to afford His services. He knows everything about our child: their innermost thoughts, the words they say (or cannot say), and the structure of every cell in their body.

This advocate hears them when they cry and whispers comforts to them on long, restless nights. He is the voice that they do not have. The Peace that they seek. The arms that never tire, even when our own arms, as parents, do.  He sits at the right hand of Almighty God and has His Father’s ear. He knows that we will encounter trials and hardships, but He has already overcome them, promising rest, guidance and wisdom when we need it.

Our Advocate—Jesus—longs to help you. I know, because He helped me, and He helped my son.

He was there when I’d had enough. He listened when I felt lost and alone in a crazy, messed up world with a child I didn’t know how to communicate with.When I would have given up, He promised a better day for my son … and for me.

I am convinced that God’s ears quicken to the sound of a troubled child’s cry. I know that He listens to every prayer that rises from the lips of a mother.  I know that He is for us.

This is what I want to tell you: Our God and Jesus, our Advocate, are standing by. I want you to know that God will honor every promise, and I mean every promise, that Scripture gives to His children.

I want you to know that you can have joy again, overflowing, spilling out, and never running dry… if you will surrender your cares to Him.  It won’t happen in a day, but trust me, it will happen.

The truth is that we are blessed
to love a special needs child.
Blessed to experience the beauty of that love.

Yes, that’s what I wanted to tell you.

If you would like to know more about what the Bible has to say on the topic—and there is so much more—that’s what my book Autism’s Hidden Blessings: Discovering God’s Promises for Children with Special Needs is about. It is a love letter—one that was whispered to me by a God who cares VERY MUCH children with special needs—to be passed along to parents who need to know just how much they are loved. You can also preview it on Kindle by clicking here.

Thanks for stopping by! May God bless you today, and don’t forget … God is for you!

Kelly