Scaling back: A Way to Become Closer to the Ones We Love



Growing up as children of a single working mother, my sister Wendy and I shared a bedroom for most of our childhood years.  In fact, we often shared the same bed.  Except for a short time in high school when Mom was able to purchase a set of bunk beds, we drew an imaginary line down the center of our hand-me-down double mattress and didn’t think a thing of it. Financially, my mother struggled to keep us sheltered and fed, but somehow God always provided.  It’s true that we had little, but I only remember the good times spent with each other.  For every hardship we faced, we knew we were facing it as a team.

Oh, we had a few fights during our bedroom-sharing days.  But mostly I remember the sound of our whispers as we fought off sleep, desperate to stay up as long as possible to prove our maturity.  I remember the laughter as we swapped jokes, and the kicks under the sheets when I took up too much of her “territory.”  I remember filling every inch of leftover space of that bed with stuffed animals, and the tug-of-war battles with the blankets each night.

Wendy and I shared everything during those lean years.  We shared a set of hamsters between ourselves until they suddenly began to multiply, and then we shared them with every friend who would have one.  We shared clothes, games, food and Burger Chef and Jeff records.  We shared adventures in our small backyard and a long list of chores each summer day.  We shared life, and it was nice.

These days Wendy lives with her own family in the same hometown, but I have settled in another state with my own family.  We occasionally post a note to each other on Facebook, or share an email or two.  Somehow our adult lives have become so complicated that phone calls are few and far between.  Any you know what?  I miss her. I miss the sound of her voice and I miss the way she could always make me laugh.  I miss the way she stood up for me whenever a school bully was mean, sticking out her chin and daring anyone to mess with us.   She was tiny for her age, but she cast a shadow so much larger than life. She still does.

I’ve been thinking about how life has pulled us apart.  Our boundaries have grown and we have scattered.  Our own kids have their own rooms with separate toys and blankets.  They have no idea how much they have.

These days, times are becoming lean again.  Matt and I are thinking about scaling back – leading a more minimalistic kind of life. It’s not so much because we want to, but that economically, we have to do it.  Perhaps the time will come when our family is forced to downscale and our kids must share a room with a sibling like Wendy and I did so many years ago. My kids get along so well, which is good, but how would they feel about bunking up with each other on a nightly basis?  They would complain and they would fight, of this I can be certain. But I can imagine myself standing outside of their shared bedroom door and listening as their angry squabbles settled into a steady hum of whispers. Then sometime deeper into the night, those whispers would become giggles and finally, sleep would come.  Yes, they would survive.

And you know, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad after all.

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Site Redesign in the Works!



Hello! I’m moving my blog over to the Wordpress platform, so be aware of the construction issues. I should have everything up and working within a week. At that time, I will be posting on a regular basis.

Blessings!

Kelly

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Read an Excerpt from Autism’s Hidden Blessings



It happened one taxing day filled with nasty battles with Alec. He was fighting my every request, kicking, screaming at me, and I was tired. Nothing was going right that day. My blood pressure was rising and my face heating. Alec lay prostrate on the floor shrieking. My ears ached, my back was sore from wrestling his clothes on, and my internal pitcher of love was empty. I was about to lose control.

This was a moment when I should have walked away. I should have taken a few deep breaths, counted to twenty, or anything other than what I did. It’s a moment in my life that I would give anything to live over, a terrifying moment of brutal honesty when God pulled away everything that kept me from seeing the truth.

A year of utter desperation exploded from my soul. I grabbed my son and plunged him onto the sofa. I then stood before him and screamed, emptying my heart of its despair in the face of my boy. My face was twisted with resentment, my eyes clenched shut, and my heart devoid of understanding. “Why can’t you behave?” I shouted at him. “Why can’t you be good?” I railed at my little son. And then I looked at him.

He was still sitting cross-legged on the sofa, but as I watched he seemed to collapse into himself. His little hands were clenched and his arms crossed over his chest as if in a fetal position. His little face was pinched in pain and tears, his mouth opened wide in silent sobs. In incredible agony I watched as he slouched forward, sinking even more into himself. Then my beautiful son turned away from me, like a little flower that felt unworthy of the sun’s love. My heart shattered in that very moment. In an instant, God removed the veil from my eyes, and I saw Alec’s desperate desire to please me. I saw the torture of not being understood, of not knowing how to communicate, or how to love and be loved. I saw the grief, the pain, and worst of all, the absence of hope. And I understood. Alec was doing all that he could! He was trying to reach out to me, but didn’t know how. He was a captive, trapped in a world that neither of us understood: A world of autism.

The experts were wrong! Alec didn’t need discipline, he needed more love. He needed me to go into his shadowy world and rescue him, to carry him out of that isolated place back to where he belonged. Just like Jesus did for me.

I had failed my son miserably. I sank to the floor, weeping. God, oh, God! I need you so much! Help me be the mother that this child needs! Then God showed me what to do. I got up and scooped my weeping boy into my arms and carried him into the bathroom. I took a washcloth and dried his tears. Tenderly, I knelt before him and grasped his wet chin in my palm, lifting his face to mine. “I’m coming to get you, Alec.” I whispered, taking him into my arms and holding onto him with every ounce of my being for what seemed like an eternity. “God will help me. I’m coming to get you, Alec.”

From that moment on, we were on a different road, God walking with us, His love illuminating the darkness. God led our family back from the abyss to a new level of joy I had never known. Yes, joy returned, bringing along all of its companions: laughter, victories, promises, and most of all, hope.

Taken from Autism’s Hidden Blessings, Discovering God’s Promises for Autistic Children and Their Families © 2009 by Kelly Langston.

Published by Kregel Publications, Grand Rapids, MI. Used by permission of the publisher. All rights reserved.

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Autism’s Hidden Blessings: Faith, Hope and Promises for Autism



To Be Released by Kregel Publications in March 2009:

Autism’s Hidden Blessings: Discovering God’s Promises for Autistic Children and Their Families

God has a unique and marvelous purpose for your child with autism, and a purpose no less than that of any neurotypical child. Read the book that gets real with parents weary from the battle to care for their special needs child. In the brutally honest story of a challenging walk with her autistic son, Kelly Langston explores scriptural promises that enabled her son to soar above autism and become the child God intended him to be.

This book shares God’s blueprint for children to lead lives full of joy and potential despite autism. It’s the story of God reaching down into the darkness of our lowest moment and pulling us back into the light of His love to soar again.

Autism’s Hidden Blessings will forever change your family walk with autism, allowing you to see your child not through the haze of autism, but through the eyes of an Almighty God Who has provided powerful promises to teach your family to soar above it to an adventurous life of joy and potential.

Want to know more?

Click here to listen to a Podcast Interview for Autism Hangout’s “Key Learnings of Autism Thought Leaders” series with Craig Evans.

or visit:

www.autismhangout.com/news-reports/feature-programs.asp?id2=84

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Autism Hangout Interview about God, Faith and Autism



I’d like to thank Craig Evans of the Autism Hangout for interviewing me about my book, Autism’s Hidden Blessings. Here is an excerpt from the interview:

“As she points out, ‘God’s biggest blessings can be behind the biggest giants.’ Hear her talk about getting past the trials of discouragement and helplessness to living the extraordinary adventure. Kelly knows ‘God has a unique and marvelous purpose for children with autism.’ She has filled her book with scriptural promises for your child’s worth, future and your own wisdom in understanding God’s greater plan. ‘How great the power of His love!’”

Listen to the complete interview at: http://autismhangout.com

Learn more about Autism’s Hidden Blessings here, and sign up to be notified when the book is released: www.autismshiddenblessings.com

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