Support a Sister Giveaway Winners: His Revolutionary Love

Thanks to everyone who commented to win a copy of Lynn Cowell’s new book, His Revolutionary Love.  I so wish I could give everyone a copy!  While I can’t do that, I have decided to give out two copies instead of one.  Even if you didn’t win, please consider ordering a copy from Proverbs 31 Ministries, where Lynn is a speaker. In fact, you can even download a sample chapter from Lynn’s own website: http://www.lynncowell.com/books/

Now, congratulations to the winners of a copy of Lynn’s book, His Revolutionary Love. The winning commenters are:

Godchozn and Angela Sladovnik.

Please email your shipping address to me at: info@kellylangston.com. Thank you!

6 Ways to Support a Sister of a Child with Autism: A Special Giveaway!

Boys are 4 times more likely to be diagnosed with autism than girls. (http://goo.gl/cZWVI).

That creates a common situation where there is a neurotypical daughter, a sibling of an autistic brother. My own family is an example of this situation.

Six Ways to Build a Bridge to Your Girl’s Heart

Boys … how are they typically described? Rambunctious, loud, messy, insensitive. Then there are our girls. So often they are compassionate, strong, capable, even at times the backbone and heartbeat of our families.

Unlike you, I do not have a child who has autism, but my first born son did come with his own unique packaging. This has put my two daughters in places where they have had to step up and mature faster than I would have desired. Yes, God has used this to make them strong.  As their mom, though, I want to be aware of my girls needs. They need to be told they are beautiful. They need to be reminded consistently that they are loved. Like a plant in the hot Carolina summer sun, they need to be poured into on a daily basis so that they flourish and blossom.

This is no easy task, especially when we have another child who needs are much more apparent. Yet, friend, we cannot mistake the quiet stability of our girls as their lack of need. They need us to build a bridge to their heart; connecting our heart to theirs.

Here are six ways that you can build a bridge to your daughter’s heart:

1. Be informed.

   Be informed about what is happening in your girl’s world. What things make her anxious? A friendship? You know many times relationships with girls can be more complicated than boys! For over ten years I have been mentoring, speaking and writing to teen girls. Girls carry a lot of anxiety. They need to know being needy isn’t bad; that’s where God comes in! Much anxiety can be alleviated by simply by talking. Know your girl’s heart. When you do this, you say to your girl, “I care enough about you to learn your world.” 

2. Be approachable.
   

   Often what our girls need most from us is a safe place to talk. Recently, my daughter Madi was telling me about a friendship problem. I asked her, “Would you like me to just listen or do you want advice?” She said, “Just listen.”

   An approachable parent responds instead of reacts. We should be thermostats instead of thermometers. Thermometers tell us the temperature of the house, a thermostat sets it. By responding instead of reacting we are setting the temperature of a safe place to be yourself and be heard. 

3. Be available.
   

   Slowing down is important so we can be there for our children. Different kids will be more vulnerable and open at different times. Think over your life and your schedule. How can you arrange things so that you can be available to your daughter to hear about her world, her heart and the things she is going through in her mind?
   

4. Be vulnerable.

   Pouring into teen girls has been one of the Lord’s greatest gifts to me. These girls would say, “I wish I could talk to my mom like I can talk to you.” Or, “I wish my mom would tell me things about when she was growing up.” It is important to share with our girls the things we struggled with when we were their age. Of course, we need to do so as the Holy Spirit directs us and as it appropriate for their age, but our kids need to hear from us our struggles, our victories and our falls. When your child is struggling have you shared some of your stories with her? Does your child realize that you, too, struggle? 

5. Be her discipler.
   This is our chance to share with our girls what the Lord has done for us by going through His word with them. This can take place in two ways: informally and formally. Informally, I look for opportunities to tell my kids what Jesus is doing in my life. In the car, going for a walk or having a snack, I share how the Word helps solve problems.

   Formally, when my kids are eating their breakfast, I read God’s Word to them. I also have a small group for my youngest daughter and five of her ninth grade friends. Every other week we get together to do a Bible study and learn more about Jesus and his love for them. By following a formal format, I am reassured that we will have a pre-set time to read and study His Word together. 

6. Be willing to speak truth. 

   When your girl is looking in the mirror and lamenting over that zit on her forehead, remind her that Jesus says in Psalm 45:11: “The king is enthralled by your beauty.” When she feels rejected because everyone else has a boyfriend and she doesn’t, speak that truth “I am my lover’s and he is mine!” (Song of Solomon 2:16). When she wishes for a bigger chest and a smaller waist, speak to her, “You are altogether beautiful my darling and there is no blemish in you.” Your girl needs to know that the love she needs can never come from a guy – they just don’t have what it take; but Jesus has all she needs and then some!  

Remember:

You are the vessel, my friend, that the Lord can use pour the truth of unconditional love into your girl. Fill up and then pour out!

Lynn Cowell is a speaker and writer with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She lives in North Carolina with her husband of 24 years and her three teenage children. She has just released of her first book “His Revolutionary Love: Jesus’ Radical Pursuit of You”; a study for young women. She loves sushi, well worn sweatshirts and anything that combines chocolate and peanut butter. You can access free resources for you and your girl at www.LynnCowell.com.

Special Giveaway Tomorrow!

Stop by tomorrow for a special giveaway!

Always on the Outside Looking In? Here’s a Word of Encouragement

Have you ever felt that you’ll never fit in or find your place? Have you stood at a window–palms pressed to glass–looking into the place where you want to be, seeing people there but knowing you don’t have access?  Waiting for a door to open that seems forever locked?

Knocking on that door, are you answered with words that you are:

Under-qualified
Not Experienced
Not Welcomed
Too Old, Too Young

We’ve all been there.  You could be in a place of unemployment, or maybe you’ve been locked out of a particular social circle. You could be unable to advance in your career or in the fight of your life for a better relationship.  There are times when it seems we are locked out of the place we want to be.

If you feel like you will never get there, let me share with you a story, one that I hope will encourage you to look for the promise of God’s favor in your own life despite the circumstances:

Here’s the story:

Each week about a year or so ago, I met with a sweet friend to share coffee, encouragement and prayer.  We were both treading water in a sea of financial stress.  She had been looking for work for more than a year, and I was struggling to keep my family encouraged as my husband’s business faltered with no new projects on the horizon.

We had been meeting for months to share scriptures and hope with each other. When one of us couldn’t go another (seemingly) hopeless day, the other would speak a gentle word and share a promise from scripture.  Make no mistake, it was a dark time and to this day we are still shaking the muck and mire from our feet.

But on one particularly distressing day, my friend and I sat in the coffee shop at a table adjacent to a glass window.  Our table was drizzled with coffee, tea and more than a few tears of frustration.  My friend had been rejected for yet another job, and my husband was so discouraged that I felt helpless.

Then God showed up.

In the ugliness of that moment, two beautiful pure white doves flew down to our coffee shop window and perched on the window frame by our table. Startled, we watched as the doves pecked at the window for about five minutes, almost as if to get our attention. We were speechless, watching these two beautiful white birds only an inch away from us, pecking on the glass.  Then, just as suddenly as they came, they flew away.

I have never again seen a white dove in nature, and in fact, I don’t recall seeing one before that day.  Oh, I have seen pigeons, and I’ve seen grey doves–but never a white dove. And certainly not two doves.

Think what you may, but here’s the reason why I am sharing this story:  If you feel discouraged like I did, then God has a message for you today, the same one He sent to me at the coffee shop.  His message is this:

You, my child, are greatly favored.
You are greatly valued.
I know where you are, and I see your situation.
I AM El Roi, the God Who Sees!
I am with you, and I will see you through this storm.

When you are met with discouragement due to whatever situation you face, you need to know that God’s favor rests on you even when it seems like the world stands against us. Satan will come to us in times of trial, whispering, “Where is your God now? Has He forgotten you?”

Take heart. He has NOT forgotten you!  Remember that you are a favored child, even in times such as these.  In fact, we need to remember God’s favor especially in the dark times! Satan would have us forget… and lose the battle.

Here’s what I want to leave you with…it is not our battle.  It’s God’s battle.  He will be victorious.

I’ll leave you with the words of Christ in the temple as He stepped into His great mission of salvation. Jesus unrolled the scroll of Isaiah and read these words:

   “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, 
   because he has anointed me 
   to proclaim good news to the poor. 
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners 
   and recovery of sight for the blind, 
to set the oppressed free, 
   to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Luke 4:16-19

Remember, if you are in Christ….then you have the Lord’s favor.  Live in that favor!

Daring to Ask God for the Impossible: Can YOU Do It?

What do you desire, in the deepest, most sacred place of
your heart, that you haven’t dared to ask God to grant you?

No, I’m not talking about a basic need here.  I’m talking about so much more than that.  Something so impossibly wonderful that you can’t bear to consider it as a reality for your life, and yet, that’s exactly what I want you to do right now.

Close your eyes with me for a moment and ask God to bring that secret dream to mind. Become a child again — without the consequences of reality to stop you — and allow that vision to float to the surface.

Do you see it? What is your dream?

Did you know that the most sacred of dreams are given to us by God Himself? Yes, God — Who places a purpose on the life of every one of His children and Who gifts each uniquely according to that purpose — also gives us a unique dream.  Some call it a calling, or a life mission.  Sadly, only a few actually discover that dream and achieve it.

For most of us that special dream stays hidden in the secret places of our hearts and minds. Why?

The Bible gives us a glimpse of why in a story found in 2 Kings 4:8-36.  It’s a story about a a wealthy women from the town of Shunem who opened her home to Elisha, the great prophet of God. Because of her generosity, Elisha offered her an opportunity to grant her heart’s desire.

Think hard for a minute with me.  What if God were to offer you the same opportunity? Would you ask Him for the thing that you want more than anything? Before you answer yes, think hard here. Would you really ask God for something so impossibly big?  Would you really trust God to give you the one thing that would light up your life?

Or….would you be afraid that He would decline
such an extreme request?

Would you doubt that God could really grant such an awesome request? Wonder if the obstacles would be too great for God?  Or maybe you think that God doesn’t “do miracles” these days? And worse, would you doubt that God cared enough for you personally to say yes? Would  you become so vulnerable as to ask God to grant your deepest desire?

If so, what if God said no? Where would that leave you?

Hurt and rejected.

Surprisingly, the women from Shumen didn’t take up Elisha’s amazing offer either. Oh, she had a dream, alright.  A dream that she had wrapped up tightly and tucked away for good. Her dream was to have a son. She knew the odds were stacked against her. Time was passing and the story tells us us that her husband was old.  You see, this sweet lady had given up on her dream to become a mother.  She believed it was too much to ask of God.

So when Elisha asked if there was anything he could do for her, she pasted on a fake smile and hid her deep desire:

“No,” she relied, “my family takes good care of me.”  2 Kings 4:13 NLT

But God allowed Elisha to look beyond her phony smile and see a glimpse of her secret dream.  Yes, God wanted to do much more for this women than she dared to ask.

Elisha, seeing her secret desire, prophesied that she would be holding a son in her arms by next year.  Her response gives us insight into the fear that plagues us all: that when we offer God our wildest dream – the one we are afraid to even disclose to others – that He will turn His back on us.

“No, my lord!” she cried.  ”O man of God, don’t deceive me and get my hopes up like that.” 2 Kings 4:16 NLT

Exactly!  How many times do we, like this woman, fail to ask God to grant that amazing dream that He planted in our hearts?  Aren’t we all afraid that God will reject us?  Indeed, Satan would have us to believe that God would never grant us our dreams, especially when that dream is God-given!

God wants to do MORE than we dare ask!  His eyes continually search for the one who will become vulnerable enough to ask Him for the impossible. God has given His children special dreams, and God is ready to empower us to use it for His kingdom.

So my question to you today is: what is YOUR dream?  Are you ready to ASK God for it?

Go ahead,

ASK.

BELIEVE.

and SEE GOD MOVE!

Promised-Based Living: Do You Worry Too Much? A Look at Luke 12:22-32

Here’s a question for you: Do you worry too much? Do you find yourself awake at night, stewing over a certain challenge in your life or the life of a loved one? Are the first thoughts of your day about a difficult situation you are facing? Are  you often anxious, filled with anxiety over something that seems beyond your  control?

Our English word for “worry” comes from a Middle English word, “worien” which literally means “to strangle.” Isn’t that exactly how it feels to be overloaded with worry? I can feel my chest tighten up, and my throat seems to close as it worsens!

If you are dealing with worry and anxiety, then this promise is for you: Luke 12:22-23

²² Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. ²³ For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. ²⁴ Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! ²⁵ Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? ²⁶ And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?

²⁷ “Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. ²⁸ And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

²⁹ “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. ³⁰ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. ³¹ Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.

³² “So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.

Luke 12:22-23 NLT

Let’s take a closer at this promise in this video:

A Red Flag for Doubt

Worry is a red flag that our faith needs a boost.  How do we get that boost? Read the scripture, and then in prayer, ask for more faith.  Another great thing to do is take 15 minutes and remember all of the times that God has been faithful to you in the past.

Keep a Record of God’s Faithfulness:

Now is a good time to start a journal recording each act of God’s faithfulness in your life.  So often, we forget that He has carried us over bigger storms in the past.  The Israelites built stone monuments to help them remember God’s faithfulness.  We, too, need to create a record of God’s work in our lives.  Then when we find ourselves overwhelmed with worry, take it out and praise God for His faithfulness to you.

Ever feel like you are invisible? You are NOT…and here is why

Do you ever feel like you are invisible?

Have you ever done something special – whether it’s a gift, a ministry, or a service – and felt like no one noticed?  Have you worked hard to bless someone, and felt like it was all for nothing?  Have you questioned if anyone cared, or if your offering mattered at all?

Yes, whenever you reach out in love to serve another, it most definitely matters..and here is why:

(Note: The audio is soft…I apologize!)

Want to know more? Read about it in Mark Chapter 14!  Click here to read this chapter.

Rediscovering Passion: Losing the Fear of Passion for Christ

One of my first memories of living in Charlotte was going to a local buffet-style restaurant.  As I stood in the monotonous line with my empty plate in need of a good filling, a southern gentleman stepped up to the buffet and gazed at the spread of greens, fruits, breads and entrees.

As he surveyed the food, he did something that shocked and amazed me. Suddenly, the man spread his arms wide and with a great infectious smile, he declared in a voice loud enough to be heard across the restaurant, “Thank  you, Sweet Jesus, for this beautiful, amazing spread of foods before me!”

Wow! And me? I was just going through the line, another day, another meal. No big thing. I had not even considered how amazing it is to walk into a restaurant and feast from a spread of food that would once be found only at a king’s table.

Here is what I want  you to know: Something miraculous happened as I heard the man unashamedly thanking God for providing a bountiful meal.  In that moment, I was allowed a sneak peak into a heart of honest and fearless passion for God.  And like a flame, his joy immediately spread to ME. It changed not only my lunch experience, but my entire day as well.  I brought an empty plate to that buffet and this stranger filled it with much more than simple foods.  He scooped up a helping of gratitude and pure joyfulness.

Christ’s life, too, was filled with passion.  He was passionate for His Father. He was passionate for the poor. He was passionate for God’s word. He was passionate for his disciples, his friends. He was passionate for the overlooked, the oppressed, the downtrodden, the hungry, the sorrowful and the sick. The very act of dying of the cross is termed “The Passion of Christ.”  He was passionate for US.

It is also true that His passion offended.  It annoyed the religious Pharisees who had lost their own passion for God’s heart. They hated and despised it.

Even today, the world would prefer that we silence our passion. More than ever, Christians are feeling pressure to keep our passion to ourselves.  I’ll come right out and admit to you that I feel uncomfortable showing my passion in public.  I worry that my passion might be considered “intolerant.”  But why is that?  My passion is simply my passion.  I shouldn’t have to contain it for the comfort of others, and yet I sometimes I do. The truth is that my outward expression doesn’t restrict anyone else from being passionate about their own beliefs. And yet, I worry that my passion for Christ may offend others.  And here’s the reality: it does.

When we encounter an example of true passion for Christ, it’s like a mirror with the power to show what is missing in our own hearts. When I come across an example of such passion, sometimes I, too, am tempted to put it down. “Are they for real?” I may question, although I have no right to ask this question.  And then, thank God, the Spirit reminds me that the problem   … is me. The reason I am offended is because I’ve lost my own passion for God. It’s a red flag to return to my first love.

The good news is that passion is revived simply by returning wholeheartedly to Christ, who graciously forgives our wanderings and calls us back to Him.  It’s called grace, and it’s the spark that re-ignites the fading flame of passion.

Life is so fleeting, so brief. I don’t have a moment to waste by living a passionless life. I want to squeeze every ounce of joy out of the promises of God. I apologize in advance if my passion offends you.  I’ll warn you right now, you may just hear me belting out a loud “Thank you, Sweet Jesus,” the next time you dine out at a local buffet.

The question I leave you is this: Do you want to live with or without passion?  Don’t allow anyone or anything steal it away from you!  Passion is like water: we need it to become all that God intends for us to be.

We only get one life. Fill it daily with a huge serving of passion!

Now He came near the path down the Mount of Olives, and the whole crowd of the disciples began to praise God joyfully with a loud voice for all the miracles they had seen:

Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord. Peace in heaven and glory in the highest heaven!

Some of the Pharisees from the crowd told Him, “Teacher, rebuke Your disciples.” He answered, ”I tell you, if they were to keep silent, the stones would cry out!”

– Luke 37-40 HCSB

The Secret to Staying Strong in Hard Times

I think you know the feeling:

You wake up in the morning as the fragments of  your last dream fades away.  So nice. So warm. So peaceful.  But no sooner than the vision fades that you remember some great stress that awaits your day ahead.  It could be an uncomfortable meeting on your schedule, a responsibility that you are struggling to meet, a sick child, or an family visit with a relative that has been a strain on that very last nerve.

What do you want to do?  Right. Pull the covers high over your head and promise to, as Scarlett said, “Think about this tomorrow.”

I know that feeling.  Just this morning, in fact, I was awakened from a blissful sleep to an avalanche of situations I did not want to face.  Bills waiting to be paid from limited funds.  Travel plans that were unraveling at an alarming pace. Family friction that I so wanted to stay away from, but somehow seemed to be knocking on my door.  Oh, I could go on but you get the picture.

We all have mornings like that, when we just want to stay in bed and hope our problems go away.  Just one more hour, one more day and maybe those little worries will fade like the dream we just had.

So what do we do?  What is the secret to getting out of bed, putting on our best armor and going out to the battles of our day victoriously?

Here is the secret:  Roll right off of your bed and onto your knees. Don’t even let your feet hit the floor!  Admit to God that you need His help to get through the day.

God, I am feeling so overwhelmed, so low this morning.  I need you to pick me up, dust me off, and point me in the directions I need to go. Not only that, but you’ll need to go with me with every step I take.  I need you, God. This battle is Yours.

Right then, you have given your battle – in fact all of the day’s battles – to the Lord.  Right then, you have victory to make it through the day.  It only takes one prayer.

That is the secret to staying strong, even when the day ahead is a monster.  Give it to God.  He will carry you through.  And you can get back to the joy and peace that is yours through Christ.

Don’t take my word for it. Try it out yourself and let me know what happens  in your day!

Blessings!

Kelly

A Recipe for Aging Well

Today is my brother-in-law’s fortieth birthday.  I was the first in my family of my generation to pass this sometimes terrifying milestone, and now  — with an guilty sense of comfort in knowing I am no longer the only one standing at the top of the hill — I get to cheer on each of my siblings and their spouses as they, too, reach the big 4-0.

So today, I’m thinking about aging and what it means to do it with power, grace and dignity.  At 40, we all need to make sure that every moment of our lives counts for something greater than ourselves. When we do that, we leave our best legacy for our children and loved ones… and in the process learn what it means to truly live! So, Mike, here is my “Recipe for Aging Well,” my birthday gift to you:

1. At least once in your life, stand up tall for something you truly believe in, especially when you know that you will face immense opposition for choosing to stand against popular opinion. Refuse to be silenced by the majority whenever you see an injustice.
2. Realize the power and strength in your own voice by speaking out for someone who can’t do so for himself.
3. Change the world by choosing to love a child. Teach them what it means to be loved… regardless the cost. You will only find the meaning of life when you learn what it means to love sacrificially.
4. Seek the wisdom of the aged, those whom society so often overlooks.  The wisdom they can share can spare you of many wrong choices in life.  Don’t let our culture’s passion for youth deceive you.  Those who have lived many days have so much to give if only you will listen.
5. Slow down!  Life seems to pass by at a quicker pace than when you were younger.  Don’t let anything rob you of the joys of living in the moment.  Every day has a treasure meant to be enjoyed by you. Claim each and every one!
6. Dream a new dream, one bolder and more extravagant than ever before!  God often waits for the years to mature us before He calls us for His most prized tasks.  So often, we fail to realize that the best is yet to come!
7. Step out of the familiar and do something you have never done before.  Adventure awaits all of us.  Dare to take a few risks, trusting God to lead the way.  When we learn to truly trust Him, our lives become extraordinary.
8. Look around and count your blessings. Laugh a little every day.  Yes, you learned to do this as a child, but we forget!  Life gets in the way and then gratitude slips away.  And with it goes our joy. Refuse to let that go!
9. Never miss an opportunity to tell a loved one how much they mean to you, regardless of whether or not they “deserve” to be told.  There is a comfort in knowing that our loved ones know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are loved and valued, and that nothing remains to be said.  You may feel silly and vulnerable in doing so, but do it anyway.  You will never regret doing it, and you’ll sleep well at night.
10. Dare to put your hand in God’s and ask Him to take you anywhere He wants.  There is so much more He wants to show you, but so often we don’t let go of the reins of our lives to become all that He intended us to be.  Don’t miss out on the grand plan that awaits you!

Life is good.  In the hard times, in the bad, each breath is a gift.  And every day has a purpose of its own for us to find…if only we will look for it.