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The Problem with Being a People Pleaser

Are you a People Pleaser?

People PleaserI admit it—I am … but I’m going to stop.

If that sounds somewhat selfish to you, I want you to know that at first it did to me, too.

For most of my life, I have been filled with anxiety, wondering what other people thought about me: my actions, my attitude, my appearance, my words, my style (or lack of style!) … well, you name it.

I erroneously thought that pleasing others was God’s will. But that is not what Scripture says! The words of Jesus are to “love one another,” not to “please one another.”  (John 13:34-35)  And there is a powerful difference.

I came across this Scripture verse today:

Fearing people is a dangerous trap,
but trusting the LORD means safety.

Proverbs 29:25 (NLT)

The fear of man is a trap.  It keeps us from God’s will for our life. It’s a snare, one that sounds good, but in fact is self-serving and downright dangerous. We should live to please God, not please others.

Think about it: Is that anything that God has called you to do that you hesitated to do, all because of a concern about what others might think of you?  Speak to a stranger about Christ? (They’ll think I am crazy.)  Stop by a friend’s house unexpectedly to encourage them? (They’ll consider me rude.) Give up a volunteering service because God was calling you to do something else? (How can I leave them hanging? I’ll let them down.)

Call me guilty! I’ve done all of those things.

So today, I am choosing to go where God calls me to go, regardless of what others might think about my choices.

I encourage you to do the same, because I’m telling you, there is great release in letting go of a desire to please others and instead choosing to please only God.

It ushers in an incredible freedom and allows a space in our lives for miracle to occur.

Won’t you join me?

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Road Sign Reminders of God’s Presence in Your Life

Signs of God's Provision

Providence. By definition the term means,

“the foreseeing care and guidance of God over the creatures of the earth.”  

Twelve years ago Matt and I moved into our Charlotte home. With a load of boxes and furniture, a toddler, and a son on the way, we unpacked our dreams of prosperity and opportunity. We had been married four years and life was good. New job, new baby, new life. How could anything go wrong?

Yet life brings surprises. Trials and challenges.

Two years later, our dinner conversations centered around a new topic — autism — after our son was diagnosed with the disorder.  Life as we knew it was different, often confusing and unknown.

In 2008, Matt’s industry took a dive in the recession. I stopped dwelling on the long list of repairs our home needed and began praying that we would be able to stay in it.  The pile of bills never diminished. We pulled back on therapies for our son and struggled with expenses of raising a family. Even small purchases terrified me.

And we wondered, “Will we make it?”

Today I drive back to that same home, the one dotted with patches of rotting wood and in need of a good coat of paint. As I drive, I pass a shopping center. Providence Commons. I drive down a street named Providence Road and turn left. I pass another road—this one called Providence Lane—and enter my neighborhood. The welcoming sign at the entrance reads “Olde Providence.” The elementary school where my young children attended is nearby. It, too, bears the name “Providence.”

It suddenly occurs to me that I have always been surrounded by Providence. By God’s Provision. His unforeseen care over my life.

So many nights I tossed in bed wondering if we could make it one more day. So many days I wanted to throw in the towel. The odds were stacked too high against us. Yet in all of those years of struggle, we were covered by God’s divine and all-knowing care.

So are you.

Had I looked, I would have seen the reminders that God had placed around me: Providence Road, Providence Lane, Olde Providence Neighborhood, Providence Elementary … and the list goes on. Uncanny reminders that I am covered by God’s provision and care. Coincidences?

Look around you. Do you see the signs of God’s love around you? I ask you,

What road signs has God placed around you to remind you that He is with you in your struggles?

I believe that if you look, you, too, will see signs. God’s “road sign reminders” of His divine care for you. When you do, I’d love to hear back from you to tell me what you find.

Blessings,

Kelly

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